I read something yesterday that struck a chord with me. Three very simple words, “return to me”. I often talk about “getting back to” something. Getting back to the way things used to be, getting back into that old pair of jeans, getting back to my college weight ect. I realized upon reading those three words that it’s not about getting back to anything. It is about returning to me. It is about returning to the me that I was before society told me who I was supposed to be.
It is not about getting back to who I used to be, how I used to be, my old size, nothing like that. It is about returning to my true authentic self. It is about being comfortable in my skin and allowing my light to shine. It is about being unapologetically me. Returning to the me I was before I felt shame or fear or any form of insecurity. Before I was picked last in gym class or wasn’t asked to the dance. Before my first heart break or all the things that added to the layers of pain that later turned into pounds. I have experienced things throughout my life, as I am sure we all have, that somehow made me feel less than. Tings that caused me to stop showing up as my full authentic self.
After years of wearing a metaphorical mask I no longer recognize myself in the mirror. If I am honest, I no longer know who I truly am and what is simply a mask I wear to protect myself. What do I truly like, what do I really want versus what is something that I just think I am supposed to want or something that I have been programed to like in order to fit in. Do you? DO you know what you want? Really?
A return to me is the journey to discover the answers to these questions. Who am I at my core? What do I like? What do I look like when I am not padding myself with a protective layer of fat? What do I eat? What do I wear when I am not dressing to impress other people? What do I believe? What do I do for a living? Where do I live? Who do I love? These may seem like easy questions for some of you. Your questions most likely are different from mine because your life has been different from mine. Your experiences have caused you to have different beliefs and protect yourself in different ways from the ways I have chosen to.
The real question is, are we really living as are authentic selves? Can you say you are unapologetically you at all times in all areas of your life? If you can, I am so thankful on your behalf. If you can’t, no worries. We are all on this journey back to self together. The return to me is a journey well worth taking.
What you have just read is an excerpt from my journal dated August 3, 2019. Yes, I was thinking of you even then. Since then, I have been on a mission to return to me. I have continued to ask myself questions like:
- What lights you up?
- What makes your heart smile?
- What do you want to be doing right now?
- Are you excited to say yes?
- How do you feel about that?
I have been keeping close tabs on myself and although I am still learning as I believe this is a lifelong process, I am so far from the lost girl who wrote that entry nearly two years ago. I have let go of the need to please, most of the time. I have rediscovered my passions and made a point to prioritize them in my life. I have accepted my differences and most importantly I have learned to love myself as I am. I have accepted that I am enough in my current state and that it is ok for me to still want more.
I would love to help you on your return to me journey. Schedule you free discovery call today!
You are enough as you are. You are perfectly imperfect! Until next time,